On the implications of a wedding

This past weekend, two of our good friends were wed. It had been some time since I had been to a wedding; a lot of water has passed under my personal bridge since that time. The wedding was great. It brought back memories of my own wedding, a little more than eight years ago. The thoughts that came to mind as I watched it unfold may be unique to me (and therefore, odd, to others, who knows?), but that as it may be, here they are…

As I stood off to the side with the other groomsmen and watched the fathers seating the mothers, it struck me: the glory of a wedding is proclaimed most in the solemn nature of its celebration. As much as “ritual” is denigrated in our day, I saw no upturned or wrinkled noses as the bridesmaids walked solemnly up the aisle to the music offered by a quartet of violins, cellos, etc. In fact, most faces were ready to burst with joy, anticipation, and glorious excitement. I found my own eyes brimming with tears, and I could see the joy on all faces present. What’s this? Ritual? Regimen? And… gasp… Joy? Yes.

And, it just seemed — so — appropriate. I remarked to two fellow groomsmen — a remark met with their agreement — that a wedding, as much as anything else, reveals what foolishness it is to think that God is best worshiped “spontaneously” and “casually.” As I’ve pondered before, I’ve no doubt God will accept most worship offered sincerely (though that doesn’t somehow validate all worship as equally beneficial or appropriate, or right). And, I’ve no doubt that God desires my personal spontaneous prayers and worship throughout my days. But, there is something harmful, even, in thinking that the best worship is “more casual.” A more casual wedding would have cheapened the whole affair. When a bride walks into the presence of her groom, it is an occasion of such joy that all stops must be pulled, all ritual dug out of the closet and flung gloriously into full use. No silliness finds its place here; no frivolity or flippancy finds a welcome.  We seem to know, instinctively, that formality is in order, that formality is right.

And the Church, walking into the sanctuary of its Bridegroom during every liturgy…. do we suppose this to be a less glorious affair? Is it less glorious, less important, less heavenly, simply because it happens weekly? Do we suspect that God cares less about each sparrow because there are so many of them? Does he grow less bored numbering our hairs when we begin to lose them with age? Or, is it possible that, for God, every liturgy is like a wedding? Every Eucharist an event of such import that all the thousands of angels, tens of thousands of archangels, the cherubim and seraphim and all the powers of heaven rise in glorious and joyous anticipation as the bride meets her groom in a moment that is ever ancient, yet ever new?

And, far from being a distraction (what bride or groom would argue that the ritual is a distraction?), I observed in the love-filled countenances of bride and groom a joyful peace and fulfillment that cannot be described with words. I watched them see their grandest dreams fulfilled, their love come to fruition, their hopes, realized. I watched as they danced together, as man and wife, for the first time; I saw them gaze at each other in absolute unawareness of the many faces watching in rapt and joyful attentiveness.

I wondered what explanation naturalistic secularism could give for this? How can love be whittled down to the interaction of neurotransmitters between neural synapses? Can such depth of feeling truly be the result of blind and completely unpurposed chance? I am as much a believer in science — including evolutionary biology — as the next fellow, but the ineffable and transcendent reality that the “eye of my soul” saw on this day put the lie to scientific materialism. On this day, the secularist was the one looking the absolute fool. And so he should.

The sheer joy of this event was palpable. The implications of such an event are profound, and I am certain I missed many. But, I came away, thankful for the Christian love shared by this husband and wife. I am thankful that marriage is a Sacrament, for at its very beginning — in the marriage ceremony itself — we glimpse the image of the Church meeting Her Bridegroom. And I know — as do all who were there and who will open their hearts to love — that love will be triumphant. Chemicals and microchips will not rise in glorious triumph on the last day, when God shall fill all in all; people of love, will.

To the lovely bride and her worthy groom: may the peace of our Lord be always with you. We hold you eternally in our prayers and warmest memories.  We are very honored to be counted among your friends.

 

A Prayer for Married Persons

O merciful God, we beseech thee ever to remind us that the married state is holy, and that we must keep it so; grant us thy grace, that we may continue in faithfulness and love; increase in us the spirit of mutual understanding and trust, that no quarrel or strife may come between us; grant us thy blessings, that we may stand before our fellows and in thy sight as an ideal family; and finally, by thy mercy, account us worthy of everlasting life: for thou art our sanctification, and to thee we ascribe glory: to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.